Would You Say That Too..

Today I was watching an interview where the actress had been given a bad review for her physically messy appearance in a movie. When faced with the person who had written the article, she asked him about this scenario: "If your daughter one day comes home from an interview and was told that they wouldn't hire her because she was not attractive enough, would you say 'oh that makes sense?'" Upon hearing this the author was appalled and proclaimed that he would never say that! The actress looked at him and said, 'just remember that when you write a bad review because of a woman's appearance in a movie, you are also tearing down girls who are reading it'... I think we just get into the habit of tearing people down and we need to build them up."

While the words may not be exactly what she said, Melissa McCarthy had a very good point. In today's society, women are still judged by their appearance; for all that we advertise and promote beauty within. There are still people, child or adult, who say negative things about woman's appearances, wittingly or not.

Celebrities do take a hard hit with this. One artist, a Mrs. Kelly Clarkson, has been on the brunt end of a lot of negativity with her weight gain after having her baby girl. Her response in an interview to the criticism is also encouraging. "I think what hurts my feelings for people is that I'll have a meet and greet after the show and a girl who's like bigger than me will be in the meet and greet and be like, 'Wow, if they think you're big I must be so fat to them.' You're just who you are. We are who we are-whatever size."

Both Melissa and Kelly are brilliant in their opinions when it comes to body images. I'll be honest. I've struggled with my body image for a good chunk of my life, still do in fact. This is made all the more fun now that I am pregnant and starting to show. It's hard to change your perception of your body when, for so long, you thought a certain way; and society encourages it to a large extent. But now I have more incentive to work on changing how I think. Now, I turn sideways when I'm in the washroom and I look in the mirror and I smile because my shirt is no longer able to hide my growing stomach. Rather than fluffing out my shirt so it drapes nicer, I'm pulling it in tighter to see how much my kid has grown since last week.

It does help that I have fantastic men in my life who, rather than criticize me for my size, are constantly telling me how beautiful I am. If you are a woman and there is a man who is telling you otherwise then ditch him! My father called me, and still does, gorgeous all my life. It was his nickname for me. I used to roll my eyes and say that he was supposed to think I was because I was his daughter. He would smile and say "that doesn't make it any less true." My husband is also quick to call me beautiful and affirm me whenever I complain about my looks. He actually gets exasperated with me if I argue with him! So, while I know that beauty is self confidence in yourself, words do carry a lot of weight!

So, I challenge you with the same thought that Melissa had. Before you speak negatively about a woman, or even yourself, think about your future or current daughter... would you say that negative thing to her? Would you want her to feel that way? Let's be comfortable as we are, no matter appearances or size. Let's look in the mirror and at each other and say "you are beautifully gorgeous"... and mean it.

A time of Change

Spring is here... or so we hear... and with spring comes many wonderful things. Rebirth of beautiful tulips, sprouting of leaves, new grass growing, and, of course, Easter. This is a time for new beginnings and new births and new experiences. This year, that is particularly true.

To start off with, the hubby and I are expecting our first mini us. This is a huge change. though a welcome one. We are starting to adjust our habits and plan for a future little mouth to feed and clean. As a result I'm frantically trying to get things done before the little one comes. I'm trying to get Christmas presents done and finish my novel and get rid of things that will harm the baby. I'm a busy person it would seem.

Then, on top of that, the contract for the company I was working for was up. As a result I had to find a new job, to which I start on Monday. That means meeting new people, learning new things, dealing with new stress. All of which while I'm pregnant. To say the least, this was not a welcome change.

Life is full of these changes and they never stop. Sometimes they are fantastic changes, things you were hoping for. Other times they are devastating and heartbreaking to think of. It's hard to deal with them but deal with them we must as life caries on no matter what.

It is at times like these when I need to remind myself that there is one thing I can always count on; one thing that will never change. That is that Jesus died for me, came back for me, and loves me. For as long as I live, for as many changes that happen, that one thing remains the same. No, God does not promise us an easier life by believing in him. He doesn't even promise that bad things won't happen to good people. But he does promise to love us always and help us through these changes. "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me."- Psalms 23:4

So spring is here, even if we are still buried under snow. With it comes new beginnings and endings. I will strive my best to celebrate every positive beginning, hand to God my mournful endings,and know that my God loves me through these times of change.

The Old Story Teller

“Tell me a story,”

The old story teller said.

“Fill it with glory

Through which I can be led.”

“Tell me a journey,”

The old story teller asked.

“Where do they start firstly?

Which villain is masked?”

“Tell me a quest,”

The old story teller encouraged.

“What experience attested?

What fears acknowledged?”

“I’ll tell you a story,”

I did so reply.

“I’ll fill it with glory

Such that none can deny.”

“I’ll tell you a journey,”

I did so say.

“With a villain so thorny,

Only One can slay.”

“I’ll tell you a quest,”

I did so tell.

“of amazing love impress

Or so I will foretell.”

“But be very careful,”

I did so warn.

“This story is wonder-filled

The listener will be reborn.”

Choose Happy

I have a confession.... I stress and worry. Yup, I stress the little things and worry the big things. I tend to focus on things that are so far out of my control that I loose sleep. I happen to feel as if I have to please everyone and heaven help me if I disappoint one person. I can be told great things all day long but I'll remember is the one negative thing that was said in passing. My heart clenches in fear whenever something happens that upsets my peaceful life and I find that I have the incredible urge to curl into a ball around a stuffed animal and have a good cry. Never mind the fact that I'm twenty-three, have had a job (for the first time in my life) for almost a year and that I'm happily married with my first draft of my first novel finally complete (four years in the making). Sometimes I still feel like I'm five years old with monsters under my bed, in my closet, and around that corner. 

What's interesting is that, whenever I find myself in these situations, crying in my car on the way to work or locked in the bathroom on the floor, I hear a voice in my head. I don't often listen to it but it does give me incentive to stand up and get on with the rest of my day. It's my dad's advise that he used to give to me growing up. 

"You can choose how to act." 

You can choose how to act and how something is going to affect you. No doubt it's hard as all get out when all you feel is scared and alone, but the end result can be liberating. It can help you handle those large mountains and small ant hills. I'm not saying that life will be easy, and you won't find yourself in your car, sobbing over something. But it can help dictate how you treat other people. Rather than taking my fear of the unknown out on family and friends, I smile and skip down the isle at work, fist bumping fellow coworkers as I go. It's not always easy, but it sure is worth it. 

So that is my New Years resolution. Sure, I want to get in shape and eat healthier. Yea I'd love to publish my novel and make enough to build my own hobbit home. I want to have children someday and be a fantastic mother. All these things, thus far, I don't know if I can or will be able to do some day. But, for right now, what matters is today... and even if I get discouraged, or feel at the end of my rope, stressing those small things and worrying the big,  at the very least I can choose to be happy right now and as a result, maybe spread a little happy to other people.

Welcome 2015 and may you be a blessed year.